Dear HA Varsity Cheerleading Squad of 1993,
Ready?
OK.
{In case you can’t spot me, I’m in the dead center- obviously because I’m the tallest, right?} 1. I know. I know. These are the cutest cheerleading uniforms“of all time”. You had them made by a seamstress in town because you didn’t want to order any like everyone else’s.
But they will not allow you to jump AT ALL. There is a reason that people buy those stretchy material ones instead of starched, pressed cotton.
But they will not allow you to jump AT ALL. There is a reason that people buy those stretchy material ones instead of starched, pressed cotton.
2. Speaking of the cute uniforms, people who don’t know that the name of our school is Houston Academy will read them as “HA”- a laugh. As a squad at cheerleader camp, people will call you “HA HA HA HA HA”. Yes, they’re all gonna laugh at you.
3. You do need to go over your routine ONE MORE TIME before the pep rally. You will drop the red head on the end {Tiffany} more times than you will break up with your collective boyfriends.
4. Just because you can do a “black light” dance does not mean you have rhythm. You are the whitest white girls ever to attempt to dance to “It takes two to make a thing go right”. Ever.
5. I know you don’t want to hear this, but you are the skinniest you will ever be in your life. If you call your self fat one more time I’m going to turn off that 90210 season finale before you can fist pump in the opening song.
Thank you very much, girls. Return to formation please. {Remember to not “break” your wrists.}
Have a fun time and soak up high school. It will fly by quicker than Milli Vanilla could have their Grammy taken away.
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